Everything... Sucks

First, let me apologize to all you faithful readers; I haven't had time to post very much to this blog lately. It turns out that being a baby is pretty much a full time job.

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time and energy on one VERY important thing. Sucking. This is a pleasure that took me some time to fully appreciate. But slowly I've come to realize that it's really fun, very accessible, and it requires almost no preparation.

Now I'm not talking about eating, which is sucking with a very specific purpose. I'm talking about pure, recreational sucking.

I started out with my fist, my knuckles, my sleeve, any part of mom or dad -- whatever was handy. (No, that's not a pun, babies don't do puns). And while I liked my pinky, what really worked for me was -- the Binky. It has a delicate, crisp taste that's lush, yet somehow not too cloying; its texture is wholesome and inviting -- Binky rivals some of the world's finest pinot noir.

But mom and dad can be a bit stingy with the Binky, and for some reason they refuse to sit next to me constantly to prevent me from dropping it, or reinsert when necessary. But that turned out to be okay, because I soon discovered something that may be better than the big B, if that's possible: my thumb. It's always there for me, I almost never drop it, and it has a feel like nothing else. If only it were a little bigger, it would be the perfect accessory.

I've tried to convince mom and dad that they should try this sucking thing themselves, but big people have something against sucking. In fact, if something is bad, they say "that sucks!" (Usually I come back with "Oh yeah? Let me try it!") Like most things big people say, that's kind of hard to understand, especially when you think about the fact that everyone sucks, at least a some point in their life. Turns out, it's not so bad to suck.